Jessica Chen is a Dutch Tiger Mum. Daughter Thammy (10) must be an excellent student. Watching television? Going to sleepovers, playing with friends? No way!
By publishing the article Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior in the Wall Street Journal, mothers like Jessica are getting the name: ‘Tiger Mothers’. The author of the corresponding book Battle Hymne of the Tiger Mother, the Chinese-American Amy Chua, is now one of the most talked-about mothers in the world.
According to Chua, there are two kinds of mothers. There are Chinese Mothers (not necessarily Chinese). Then there are Western Mothers. “Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, 'Hey fatty- lose some weight',”. “Western parents have to tip-toe around the issue, talking in terms of 'health' and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image. Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight A's. Western parents can only ask their kids to try to do their best.”
Chua never lets her daughters Sophia and Lulu slack. She called them "garbage", "worthless", "disgusting." Her book is filled with lots of anecdotes about how she kept control over her girls, threatening to burn her children's stuffed animals and treating them cruelly.
The worst thing about the method is that it works. Sophia made her piano debut in a famous concert hall when she was only 14. Lulu led a prominent youth orchestra and still found time to score straight A’s.
However extreme Chua’s methods may be, she does point out a very actual problem. The typical over-scheduled Western mother, with only a little time for her child, spoils it with candy and presents. Do we give in too easily, scared of making our children unhappy? Chinese parents spend approximately ten times as long every day, drilling academic activities with their children. Western kids are more likely to participate in sport teams.
“I know my daughter is stressed”, Jessica says. “But I think that’s positive. Life is also stressful. What to do when things go in a different way than you want them to? Crying? No way: fighting and hard working.” Should the new generation of American kids tremble in their overpriced sneakers?
How to interpret article 18 CRC, parent’s responsibility? In my opinion not by overwhelming your child with presents, paying off your guild of being over-scheduled. But neither by terrorize your child. Let’s search for the happy medium…
What’s your opinion?
Rosa Warmerdam
